The Importance of Empathy and Why I Became a Therapist, Part I

One of the many reasons I decided to pursue psychotherapy as a profession can be traced back to my upbringing in the city of New Orleans. Being raised in one of the most diverse cities in the US, I was exposed to many different cultures, values, perspectives, and guiding principles. While these experiences provided me with an immense appreciation for diversity, I also distinctly recall numerous experiences throughout my childhood in which I observed significant tension between people of different backgrounds and values. Through these experiences, I learned to appreciate the importance of practicing empathy. 

 Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings and experiences of another person. It often includes both “emotional empathy,” - feeling the emotions of others and sympathizing with their situation, and “cognitive empathy,” - understanding of the thoughts and viewpoints of others. Empathy can enhance communication, strengthen relationships, and foster a stronger sense of connection between individuals. 

 During these years growing up in my hometown, I also grew to appreciate the importance of self-awareness; because my upbringing differed in many ways from others in New Orleans, I began to understand that the ability to listen to and understand others' experiences in the context of my own background is crucial in order to feel and express empathy. I’ve learned the importance of maintaining an honest dialogue with myself and others and practicing vulnerability and non-judgmental curiosity. I do my best to listen before speaking, and to seek to understand one’s experiences rather than to criticize or judge them. I try wholeheartedly to incorporate empathy into my personal life and my professional life as a psychotherapist.

At its core, psychotherapy centers around challenging oneself - challenging one’s thoughts, perspectives, habits, and values that we were taught are “the right ways” to live by. Breaking free from these limitations allows us to open our minds to others’ differences and move towards a more compassionate and connected sense of wellbeing.

When working with clients, I often encourage them to explore the following questions in order to help them cultivate empathy in their lives: 

• “Do I perceive others through a lens of judgment, or through a lens of impartial curiosity?”

• “If I am experiencing conflict with another person, have I tried to put myself in their shoes and understand the origin of their thoughts and emotions? Do I feel as though they have done the same for me?”

• “How can I use my lived experience to help others achieve a greater sense of fulfillment and richness in their life?”